Saturday, September 23, 2006

Hoo Boy

I have just got back from a birthday bash at a bar for a guy I don't even know, where I imbibed more alcohol in one sitting than at any previous point in my lifetime... by which I mean about .... er.... plus the Corona...


Drinks in the space of two hours. I'm sure J 'n' O will note that this makes me a Nancy-boy.

So now I'm drunk *and* lonely. Woo!

Here's hoping nothing important happens tomorrow.

Must. Not. Hurl.

The good news is that I still have time to make some SERIOUSLY bad decisions before I pass out.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

The Story Writes Itself, Really

The memetic process is now entirely complete, as life is now imitating a cliche. Only more exotic, apparently. "Dog? No, not sexy enough."

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Serious Health Warning

It having come to my attention that between 30-60% of my readership works in cancer research, I thought I should pass along the following wisdom, courtesy of last night's House.

You should be good little cancer researchers, because if you are an evil cancer researcher you will most likely contract an obscure protein-based wasting disease and drown agonizingly in your own blood plasma. Or, alternately, be murdered by a very pretty but also very self-righteous immunologist. Either way, bad, right?

Sunday, September 17, 2006

Recycling For Slobs

There is an aged 14-inch computer monitor in my building's elevator.

I'm sure that, if its owner had sufficient Post-Its to spare, there would be a note advising "free to good home."

Speaking of which, there are six (!) good homes for sale in my building, ranging in price from a paltry $219,000 to a whopping $259,900. One's right next door to me. I haven't noticed any increase in traffic to the building, so I don't know what the level of activity is like, though of course I'm out all day.

Bodes well for my equity standing, I suppose.

Friday, September 15, 2006

On The Up Side

1) I like my job now. No, really. Also, I appear to be almost good at it. Who knew?

2) Apparently I won a nerd contest yesterday. Go figure.

On another front, I'm intrigued by how the "shuffler" on my non-iPod mp3 player seems to reflect my mood. If I'm already down it plays "If You Leave" or "Dont' Dream It's Over," while if I'm already up I get "Walking on Sunshine" or "Break My Stride." Of course I get "Bittersweet Sympony" either way. I really need to delete that damned song.

Thursday, September 14, 2006


I'm feeling sort of beaten down today. The general drear doesn't help any. Nor did getting rained on both on my walk to work and my walk home.

Especially not helpful was the article in today's National Post by a 40-year-old fellow who, having knocked up his girlfriend (now - still - wife) at 17, already has a 13-year-old granddaughter. Subtitle for this article? "Many of my friends will not live to meet their grandchildren." At this point I certainly don't expect I will, assuming I even have any.

Outlook hazy, try again later.


Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Australians and Lesbians, Together at Last.

That Steve Irwin was pretty awesome. There you have a guy with just no fear whatsoever, who also just happens to be completely, exuberantly, perhaps pathologically fascinated with Nature's Creatures. How great is it to just have all that energy, and blow it all out learning everything you can about stuff you love, and passing that stuff on to anyone within bellowing distance? This guy should have been an early-Nineteenth Century imperial naturalist or some such. Of course in the early nineteenth century his family had probably just got "transported," as the saying goes. That said, I think we all could have seen "Steve Irwin Dies in Freak Accident Involving Being Too Close To A Wild Animal" coming a mile away. Guy took "awright, now, nevah, evah dew this, kids, onaccountah Oi am a Troined Profeshnah" to a whole new level. I would argue that putting the poor guy in a position to get stabbed by a fish was perhaps cruel. Sure, he's an expert on dangerous reptiles. And he's expanded that to dealing with stuff like lions, because really "jumping on you and then biting you" is in basically the same vein as "rushing at you and then biting you." Sending him underwater where he can't jump out of the way of an onrushing beastie is not exactly playing to his strengths.

Don't get me wrong, here. I don't mean to be all "dude had it coming." How can you not love this guy? I mean, unless you're of the "leaving nature to its own devices and not just poking, prodding and generally manhandling any beast, critter or varmint that comes within reach, or indeed within range of a goodly dive-roll" school of ecology. And really, who is?

Man, am I writing myself into a corner here. Best to switch topics. You're probably wondering how this all ties in with lesbians. Which is because you read the headline, or just have a dirty mind. Anyway! Here I draw a parallel with that other terrible-blond-hairdo'd TV host, one Ms. Ellen DeGeneres. This woman's primary claim to fame is that she declared herself to be openly gay back when that was still kinda-sorta not okay, instead of fabulously hip like it is now. And now she has a kinda-sorta popular TV talk show along the lines of Oprah or Phil Donahue or Larry King or whoever. But what makes Ellen really great is the same thing that made Steve really great: unbridled enthusiasm. She's not afraid to make a rampaging fool of herself, and indeed that is often apparently her goal in life. She just has this delightful self-effacing "aw, I'm not so great" attitude. I like her style. Here's hoping nothing unpleasant and stingray-related happens to her.

So yeah, those are my vaguely-related, potentially offensive pop-cult thoughts for the day.