At 1pm local time, June 25...

... at the World Cup venue in Germany, Portugal will face the Netherlands in the ultimate, 439-year grudge match to end all grudge matches.

Yes, that's right. Sunday. SUNDAY. SUNDAY!

Kicking!

Diving!

Kicking while diving!

We'll sell you the whole seat, but you'll only need... oh.

They've been sold out for months.

Because of the, er, World Cup. Right.

Well, just watch it on TV. Whatever.

I predict an unprecedented number of fouls.