Mostly Useless Things I Learned on the Web Today, vol. I

The longest formally declared war on record, at 439 years (and counting!), is between Portugal and the Netherlands. Typical Portuguese laziness, not calling an official end to the mess even though both countries are founding members of NATO. And don't send me nasty Dutch-hater emails blaming Holland, everybody knows who the real problem is here.

In related news, the oldest conflict still being actively pursued is the "Colombian Armed Conflict," which is apparently of so little significance that it doesn't qualify to be called a civil war, but has been simmering since 1964. I dunno, if armed guerrillas had been blowing stuff up in my country for forty-two years I'd be willing to call that a war.

The newest conflict reported by the all-knowing Wikipedia is the so-called "Second Somali Civil War," which arguably doesn't exist since the first one hadn't ended yet. In a close second is the "El-Aaiun Intifada" taking place in Western Sahara -- which according to the Moroccan occupying authority isn't actually of any importance. Good to know.

So, yeah, world still needs more Canada. Get on that, Bono.