Harper Shoots Off Mouth, Foot; Inspires Blogger

OTTAWA, CANADA - Insane Conservative Party of Canada leader Steven Harper shot off his mouth and hit himself in the foot Tuesday by reopening the supposedly contentious gay marriage debate, thus inspiring blogless cynic "K. Donovan" to start his own blog in order to rant.

"I would simply ask the House of Commons in a motion whether they want to table legislation on the marriage issue to change the definition of marriage [back]. If the motion is defeated, we won't proceed," Harper said, trying to have it both ways.

The move is generally accepted to have cemented Harper's support with 100% of people who were already going to vote for him anyway.

Canada is a small country directly across Lake Ontario from Wilson, NY. Same-sex marriage has been legal there since early summer of 2005, when the [l]iberal governing party backhandedly served the gay community by claiming that the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms forced them to enact bill C-38 redefining marriage as "the union of two persons to the exclusion of all others."

"Dammit," Donovan is reported to have said, "This horse isn't Terry Schiavo, Steve, it wouldn't be alive even if it was hooked up to life support."

News flash, Steve: 60% of Canadians either oppose you on this or don't care. Pick your metaphor:

1) This dog won't hunt.
2) This ain't the hill to die on.
3) Wow, are you stupid or something?